I get a lot of eating done while watching TV. As West Wing’s President Bartlet launches a secret attack against a fictional nation called Qumar, I slowly and steadily polish off a bowl of popcorn or pretzels or a bag of Reese’s Pieces or, when I’m on a health kick, a plate of peanut butter and apples. I know why cows always look so docile and peaceful. It’s because they graze all day. They neither get too full nor have to bear the unpleasantness of going hungry. They just eat and eat and eat, a little at a time, inhaling a constant stream of bits.
Obviously, I’m not the only person in love with the snack. I was in Albertson’s the other day and was absolutely bedazzled by the aisles and aisles dedicated to beautiful junk, throw-away food, unnecessary ballast. Offerings were conveniently divided into separate sections, sweet and salty. The packages were enticing, festooned with little elves and peanuts wearing glasses. They were so cute, I wanted to eat them up (and, eat them up I did).
There are plenty of snacks you can create right in your own kitchen. I’ve included here some of my favorite TV chowin’ recipes. These formulas were hand selected to meet all the important criteria: They are safe to eat in the dark. They won’t drip onto the sofa or your bathrobe. They are simple to prepare. And, you can ingest a large amount of each in one sitting. This is finger food at its best. Just aim for your mouth and enjoy.
Easy Kettle Corn
1/2-cup shortening or vegetable oil (don’t use olive oil, it burns)
1 cup popcorn
3/4-cup sugar
salt
You’ll need a stovetop popcorn popper, the kind with a paddle that turns with a crank. On medium high heat, melt the shortening in the bottom of the popper. You’ll know the oil is hot enough when you toss in a kernel and it pops soon after. Add the rest of the popcorn. When it starts to pop, add the sugar. Let the mixture heat up, stirring frequently. Be careful that the sugar doesn’t burn. Keep stirring until the popping stops. Pour the kettle corn into a large bowl, one quarter at a time. Lightly salt each layer (don’t add the salt to the popper—it’ll keep the popcorn from popping).
Peanut Butter
Marshmallow Treats
15 (or so) saltine crackers
15 (or so) marshmallows
Creamy peanut butter
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Spread a nice thick layer of peanut butter onto each cracker. Top with a marshmallow. Place the crackers on a non-stick cookie sheet. Bake until the marshmallows are toasted. No kidding, these are delicious — they taste like Salted Nut Rolls.
Spiced Almonds
1/2-cup firmly packed brown sugar
3 tablespoons ground cinnamon
1 large egg white
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 3/4-cups whole natural almonds
Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. In a small bowl, combine the brown sugar and cinnamon. Set aside. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk the egg white until frothy. Stir in the vanilla extract, almonds and the brown sugar mixture. Spread the almonds in a single layer on a baking sheet and bake them, stirring every 10 minutes, until they are dry, about 30 minutes.
Tabasco Nuts
3 tablespoons butter or margarine
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 tablespoons Worcestershire Sauce
1/2-teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
4 drops Tabasco sauce
4 cups nuts (any will work — best are pecans, almonds, and cashews)
Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. In a heavy skillet, combine all the ingredients except the nuts and simmer for a few minutes. Add the nuts, tossing to cover. Add a little more cayenne or Tabasco sauce if you like a zippier nut. Spread the nuts on a cookie sheet and bake for 10 minutes. Stir and cook 5 minutes longer.
Peanut Butter
Crunch Balls
4 cups miniature marshmallows
1/2-cup butter or margarine
1/2-cup creamy peanut butter
3 cups Cheerios
1 cup unsalted peanuts
1 cup plain M&Ms
In a medium saucepan, melt the marshmallows, the butter and the peanut butter over low heat, stirring constantly until smooth. Remove the mixture from heat. Cool for 15 minutes. In a large bowl, mix together the Cheerios, peanuts and M&Ms. Pour the syrup over the cereal mixture, stirring until evenly coated. Roll the mixture into 2-inch balls and cool completely on waxed paper.
Cheesy Pretzels
1 1/2-cups shredded cheddar-jack cheese
1/4-cup poppy seeds
2 tbsp dry onion soup mix
2 cans, 11 ounces each, refrigerated breadstick dough
Spread the cheese evenly in a 9 x 13-inch baking dish. Spread the poppy seeds and soup mix evenly over the cheese. Separate the breadstick dough into strips. Stretch the strips slightly until each is about 12 inches long. Press the strips, one at a time, into the cheese mixture. Turn and press to coat. Transfer the strips to a non-stick baking sheet. Form then into whatever shapes you like, pressing together to secure your designs. Bake the pretzels in a preheated 375 degree oven for 13 minutes, or until they are golden brown.
Recipes and suggestions can be sent to vogel@whidbey.net.
