For as long as I can remember I have valued the concept of independence and chose to live my daily life as independently as possible by being competent and taking care of business when necessary. While I credit this drive, in part, to the mystery of genetics and personality and birth order (I’m a first born), independence was also fertilized when my dad counseled me to think for myself when it came to choosing friends … and what I did with those friends.

When I grew older and the time to attend college and eventually marry neared, Dad gave voice with great vigor to the idea that I make educational and career choices that would insure my future independence.

“You can’t foresee how life will unfold,” Dad would say, “and not a one of us wants to envision rough seas. But they will come, Joan, and when they do, I want the comfort of knowing you will be prepared to respond as independently and competently as possible.”

Today Dad is 75 and I have come to understand that his attitudes toward independent living not only reflect those Great Depression-era attitudes that will never die, but truly reflect the American spirit so many of us treasure. And while I have every hope that at 75 I can live as fully as he does, I have come to understand yet another truth that comes from my other father —God the Father: There are no solitary saints or spiritual hermits.

For several weeks now we have been investigating Rick Warren’s book, “The Purpose-Driven Life,” and the message has been clear: God created you for His purposes and it is His expectation that you understand your gifts and abilities and put them to good use. Doing so will provide you with joy, a strong connection with God, deep and meaningful worship experiences, and great adventure.

Interestingly enough, you are not to live a spiritual life in isolation. In other words, “I believe in God and all but I don’t do church,” does not work with God. While your relationship with God can be personal, reflecting your own style, you are challenged and called to bind your life with others in an organized setting. Independence does not work in this context.

There are several reasons why people need a church family. First, we are called to care about other believers by working side by side as we live our lives. Second, we will grow to spiritual maturity only when we love and pray for church members, encourage them, serve and teach them, carry each other’s burdens, forgive each other, and remain devoted through thick and thin. In isolation we fool ourselves into thinking we can handle all of life on our own if there is nobody to challenge our choices and our thinking. And third, with others nearby we can be fortified to share God’s great news of love and forgiveness to others in need of such assurances.

Is church membership easy? At times it is not and throughout the years I have experienced the highest of highs and the deepest of lows. I will event admit to a fair amount of disappointment and hurt. That is because churches are not walls or classrooms or worship centers. Churches are people who bring into the mix their energy and hope and passion. They also bring their brokenness and faults, their stress and opinions and bad habits. And to simply say, “Mind your own business” or “I’m ‘outta here!” cannot be an option when you are ultimately asked to give people the benefit because their worth is so incredibly high … so high Christ died on their behalf and yours.

So why should we put up with all the tough stuff and not just treat church like a country club membership? God tells us that with commitment to the people of a congregation will come huge benefit — to us personally, to God’s family of believers, and to our world so in need of love and care and service. God designed church specifically to help us fulfill our destinies. When we weekly incorporate other believers and activities into our lives, we will discover great purpose, meet amazing people, and be able to embrace principles on which we can build competence and independence. We will have a new power as well as people to love and be loved by.

The truth of the matter is this: we can spend our lifetimes searching for the perfect church but that is not going to happen. We can, however, find more love and forgiveness by joining a local church.

Check your local listings.

Freelance writer Joan Bay Klope’s e-mail address is jbklope@hotmail.com.