Carol Wiseman’s recent letter asking where all the men were on the dance floor has prompted me to respond from a different point of view. I am a male instructor.
In 30 years of teaching couples to dance together, I have heard it all: Dancing is for sissies, it’s too difficult for me and my two left feet, I have no rhythm, I don’t want to hurt my partner’s feet, I’m too shy to try. But, I have also heard, “Why didn’t I do this years go?” A lot!
The history of ballroom dancing gives reason to why men are so reluctant. Dancing in someone’s arms was one of those formal, black and white things our fathers and grandfathers knew how to do. We had Rock n’ Roll, and dancing free form was Tony the Tiger GREAT! Jimi Hendrix and the Dead were built for our singular displays. We were, in short, discouraged from touching each other. Ms. Steinem then told us that women “could do it for themselves!” We got the message.
I think both men and women have short-changed themselves with the free form dancing that developed in the ‘60s. I usually respond to the excuses men give with “what a pile of camel poop!” Listen, if you can walk down the street using two feet, you can dance with a partner. Learning how is a simple trick like learning to tie a shoelace, whistle or finger pop. Once you learn the trick, the hardest part is over. Grandpa did it, how hard can it be?
Over the years, I’ve decided most men are reluctant to learn to dance because they are afraid of looking foolish in front of their peers. Or worse, look wimpy while their wives lead them all over the floor. But at the same time I think some men would like to see themselves as the “swash and blood” rascal who can swoop up the ladies, thrill them across a dance floor and leave them breathless with desire. Most men fall someplace between the two. In 30 years I have never seen a man NOT get it if he sincerely tried. Of course, as in all things, some people get “it” quicker than others.
Dancing is a glamorous sport, part art and part athletics. It is “old world” in that it requires some rudimentary mastery of “polite” manners and “stand up straight” posture. It requires some ability to move one’s feet. For men, it takes a willingness to be in charge. Guys have to hold women in their arms. The process is painless, even fun!
You have to ask yourselves, gentlemen, do you want to sit with the rest of the single guys, afraid to look a little foolish, or be the one dancing with the ladies and having the great time you always wanted to have?
Allen Young
lives in Oak Harbor
