Four fishing poles had been pulled from their racks and lined up neatly along the store aisle. I’d already decided on the type of rod and reel, which took quite some time, but there were other decisions to make. The poles were different colors, as were the reels. Several thoughts went through my mind, primarily which pole would look more manly as I was standing in a line of other anglers hoping to catch a humpie next fall. White rod and blue reel was definitely out, white rod and black reel had the inside track, but what about something different, like red rod and black reel, or blue rod and red reel? Blue and red would look weird, I decided, imagining the other fishermen edging a few steps away from me on either side. Though I’d be shunned for my color choice, I’d have more room to cast from the beach. No, it’s best to play it safe and go with the no-nonsense black and white …

And then the thought struck me. “Oh my gosh, I’m shopping like a woman.”

I thought back to all the times I’ve watched my wife shop for clothing or shoes, and she always did the same thing: Endlessly comparing colors, sizes and combinations, while I try to look patient hoping she won’t notice as I pretend to be slashing my wrist or hold my breath until I turn blue, just to pass the time. And now I was shopping the same way? I began to doubt my manhood.

I thought about those fishing poles some more and finally realized that my new-found shopping obsession wasn’t my fault, it was the fault of the rod and reel manufacturers. Males never used to have a choice in such things. You could take your pick of a black or Eagle Claw-yellow pole, or a black or blacker reel. There were no mix-and-match color rod and reel combinations to confuse us and make us look foolish in the sporting goods aisles. Apparently, fishing tackle manufacturers decided they could reel in more anglers and their money by giving them more color choices, and in the process make us look like a bunch of women contemplating which blouse to buy in Macy’s.

Now I’m worried that other manufacturers will try the same thing, forcing more choices on male shoppers. The nice thing about Les Schwab is the rack- after-rack of tires, all black. All you do is match your wheel size, decide how much you want to spend, and buy some tires, elapsed time 5 minutes or less. But what if the tires came in red, yellow, blue and black? Then you’d have to start thinking about which tire matches your vehicle’s color, which will look best splashed in mud, which will make you look cooler as you drive down the road, and other considerations. It’s a terrifying thought, which fortunately we don’t have to deal with, at least not yet. The day I see my first set of blue tires displayed at Les Schwab is the day I sell the truck.

The same color nightmare could happen to tools, which traditionally come in steel or chromium colors. Males would be totally confused if we had to choose from red, yellow, blue or green tools, and which color would best match the house or car we’ll be working on, or go with our coveralls.

Eventually, it could come down to this: “Honey, do you think this green Crescent wrench matches my eyes?”

“Quit worrying about it and just buy it,” she’ll respond impatiently. “I’d rather be fishing.”