Who’d have ever thought our less-than-artsy county government would get into dramatic theater of all things. Their debut performance is an re-enactment of the Boston Tea Party which 240 years ago pitted colonists against the British government over taxation of their favorite beverage and which coined the rallying cry “no taxation without representation.”

They’ve added an intriguing theatrical twist by casting the established government as the wronged party that is stirring the partisan pot of boiling tar for political interests. The chosen villain is the persistent thorn, the environmental group WEAN, which has all too consistently been cleaning the county’s clock in courts of law over various land use and environmental issues.

We all know it’s difficult for a new and unproven theater company to fill seats without well-funded advertisement. Fortunately our county has deep pockets allowing it to place a promotional flyer in each and every mailbox in the county. Not just an advertisement, but an incendiary proclamation that portends the end of life as we know it since the county’s formula for the protection of critical areas has failed in the legal arena of state environmental law.

The plot, in a nutshell, is that unless watered down critical area protections (called best management practices) are allowed throughout the rural areas of the county (roughly 70 percent of our zoning), then anyone with a green thumb will become a criminal.The county will supply the tar and feathers so a bunch of the riled up landowners can “get WEAN.”

A more practical plot would solve the critical area dilemma by simply (1) making it easier for interested parties to get into one of the agricultural land classifications, (2) allow these folks to work out a best management plan for their activities, and (3) apply standard critical area ordinances to the rest of the rural zone.

But heh, that wouldn’t be Hollywood and the theater seats would be empty at the May 24 performance.

Dean Enell

Langley