Warming centers in the winter and cooling centers in the summer are both now provided by the Island County Department of Emergency Services, probably using money materialized out of thin air by the federal government. These are good things, but they don’t go far enough. Speaking for all the people who love Northwest weather, we are desperately in need of a misting center.

Of course, just writing these words assures that it will be misting, perhaps even raining, the day they see print. But the fact remains, it’s been a long, dry summer, at least until this column was started, and the October-through-June rainy season is a long ways away. Only two significant instances of rain can be readily recalled. The first came the weekend after the Fourth of July, which was memorable because it came one week late. The second occurred a while back and consisted of a violent thunder storm complete with a torrential downpour. What is this, Kansas? Islanders were peering into the darkened sky, looking for Dorothy’s twirling house. The whole incident was not reminiscent of our gentle, Northwest rain.

The fact is, it’s been weeks since a decent rain, when a wet mist descends over the Northwest and moisturizes everything not tucked under a blue plastic tarp. Our plant life is showing the result, with branches bent and leaves curled and gasping for something damp. The only plant in my yard doing well is the azalea bush, which the dog favors. You know it’s dry when the rhododendrons are jealous of the azalea’s dog.

The rhodies were looking so bad that I abandoned my Darwinian gardening philosophy of survival of the fittest, and actually turned the hose on them Sunday. I was afraid they might die, the leaves would fall off, and then I’d have to look at my neighbors again. The result was almost instantaneous. Within a few hours the rhododendrons were standing proudly upright, their leaves plump with moisture and the neighbor’s house safely hidden. I warned them not to expect water every time it gets a little dry. I just hope they’re not spoiled.

Many islanders feel exactly the same as the rhododendrons. We’re desperate for a good misting, and we feel it’s the government’s job to step in a save us. We all got misty-eyed at President Obama’s nomination acceptance speech, but he’s got to do better than eyes now that he’s president. We demand a full-body misting.

With the proper federal grant, the Island County Department of Emergency Services can set up a misting center in Oak Harbor, at the car wash next to Beeksma Park. Federalize the facility temporarily, extend the spray nozzles to the ceiling, and let a dense mist of recycled water fall on all who need it.

We can bring our umbrellas, parkas, rain jackets and boots, have a grand time prancing in the rain, and be reinvigorated like those rhododendrons. When the weather needs fixing, we know we can depend on the government. It’s only natural.