Those of us who don’t necessarily think efficiency and low prices are the highest calling of humanity have our doubts about the initiatives that would change how liquor is sold in Washington. It’s too bad initiatives are identified by number, otherwise people would have some idea what they’re voting for. Let’s just call it the-Booze-At-Costco initiative. There’s another similar initiative on the November ballot, but it makes things so complicated that we’ll just ignore it.
We all know that Washington’s state-run liquor stores date back to the end of prohibition, which was a noble but failed experiment to make people quit drinking alcohol. You can judge how effective that was by trying to drink more than one Thomas Kemper Root Beer. Six will leave you reeking of root beer, but they won’t make you think you’re the most hilarious person alive or get you out on the dance floor. It takes vast quantities of alcohol to pull that off. During prohibition, the U.S. was filled with humorless people who wouldn’t dance. “So You Know You Can’t Dance” was the most popular show on the radio.
After prohibition ended, the state took over from the gangsters, and, naturally, the price went up. There were also lots of odd liquor laws, such as you couldn’t stand up while drinking and women couldn’t sit at the bar. We can guess that lawmakers didn’t want kids on the sidewalk to see adults standing up and drinking through the window, but we won’t hazard a guess as to why women couldn’t sit at the bar.
Also, in former days, you couldn’t sell alcohol on Sunday. At midnight the stores would cover the beer and wine coolers in paper so prospective church-goers wouldn’t even have to see the stuff. There wasn’t a professional football team in Washington until the law against selling booze on Sunday was lifted. The Seahawks would average about 419 sober fans per game, but 60,000 drunks will gladly show up to watch anything.
We still have state liquor stores, either run by the state or licensed by the state, but now Costco wants a piece of the action. Actually, it will be all of the action since a low price is all that matters in the present era. The Coupeville Liquor store had a baby goat on display earlier this year, and sometimes has kittens and puppies. It’s doubtful you’ll see any goats in the Costco liquor aisles.
The outcome of the election doesn’t mean anything to me personally, because years ago I realized it was cheaper to make a fool of myself once a week in a newspaper column than to do it on a Friday night in a bar. But it would be a rather pleasant change if voters decided there’s more to life than efficiency and price.
