Running my hand over the pile of olive drab and gray wool blankets, I could swear I heard the melancholy call of a bugle in the distance.

There are about 500 vintage blankets, warm, itchy pieces of history made by Burlington Mills and other suppliers, but they have worn out their welcome. They were made 50 years ago, and are no longer the kind used by the Red Cross. It’s time to clean house.

“We have set up a disaster services fund,” said Barbara Johnson, executive director of the Island County Chapter, “and the money from the sale of these items will allow us to purchase what we really need in the county.”

Blankets, costing $5 apiece, are 60 inches by 84 inches and are guaranteed to cause hives in anyone allergic to wool. They’d be great for horses and dogs in frigid weather.

Next up for sale are about 100 Army cots. “In an emergency situation,” Johnson continued, “we need cots our volunteers can set up quickly. We timed it, and it took over 10 minutes to set up one of these.” They are not light and cost $10 each.

Red Cross also has over 300 plain white bed sheets for $2 each. Think of all the uses: covering furniture at your place in the Hamptons; drop cloths; backing for an heirloom quilt; or a neighborhood full of ghostly costumes this October.

Johnson said she’ll give anyone who asks for them an assortment of Meals Ready to Eat. She has about six boxes of the canned variety and eight boxed of MREs in pouches. Just remember to leave some for the next guy.

An interesting leftover from the Office of Civil Defense dated 1953 is the SKIV sanitation kit, which makes into its own commode, complete with seat, gloves, liner, toilet paper and tie wire. The round container is a good height for a commode, but I still can’t figure out why the list of contents includes a can opener. There were only a handful, but ask anyway.

Stop in at Red Cross any day Monday through Friday and ask for Barb. They will take your cash, check or bank card. Call Barb at 257-2096.

Under the moonlight …

RICK OWENS of the Island County Astronomical Society wants to thank everyone who came to the recent fund-raiser for Help House.

He reports they collected 42 items of food, $50 in cash and used eight telescopes, including their largest ever at 17.5 inches in diameter.

They mostly looked at craters on the moon but also saw an eclipse shadow on Jupiter from one of its moons. “People were just loving that,” said Woods. He estimated there was $15,000 to $17,000 in equipment in use at Windjammer Park that night.

Call Owens at 675-2269 to ask about joining.

Go outside with Gabor …

Hungarian born Gabor Svagrik returns to the Coupeville Arts Center to teach oils and pastels en plein air and studio Aug. 21 through 25. Bring your portable easel and work in your choice of medium to this outdoor painting class devoted to making small paintings with a limited color palette.

Sign up early at the Coupeville Arts Center. Workshop fee is $475. Call 678-3396 or go to their website at www.coupevilearts.org.

Soccer rules …

Registration fees vary depending on the event you choose and you need to sign up by 5 p.m. on Monday, July 31, for the Sports Illustrated Kids Kick-It 3v3 Tour Aug. 5 and 6 at the Lake Washington Youth Soccer complex. Pool play kicks into action on Saturday as they compete for first, second and third place prizes on Sunday. Go to www.KickIt3v3.com or call 1-888-997-PLAY.

That’s a knee slapper …

When I received an email from DON GROVE of the Old Fogey’s Breakfast Club, I paused a bit. I trust that retired master chief and was tempted to see what he thought was so funny, so I opened the attachment.

If you have never heard Ray Stevens sing about the “Mississippi Squirrel” that got loose in the First Self-Righteous Church of Pascagoula, just Google Ray Stevens Mississippi Squirrel MSR2 and turn up the volume.

My dad never missed a “Hee Haw.” Came on right after Johnny Cash.

Quick! Who was it that invented the first modern electrical air conditioner? WILLIS HAVILAND CARRIER, back in 1902.

Stay cool, everyone, and I’ll see you on Aug. 2. Write to lifeonwhidbey@yahoo.com or call 675-6611.