Because life is all about learning how to love,

God wants us to value relationships and

make an effort to maintain them instead

of discarding them whenever there is

a rift, hurt, or conflict.

–Rick Warren

I was a young elementary school student the first time I stood in line at McDonalds. It was a Saturday, early evening, and I had spent what seemed like hours lugging a box of light bulbs throughout my neighborhood, serving as Daddy’s helper as he fund raised for his Kiwanis Club.

I recall wearing a small apron with the service club’s logo printed across the front and dutifully handed out boxes of bulbs as they were sold. I had put up with more than a few patronizing pats on the head and, while I know I had been well behaved around the customers because Dad expected me to be polite, I probably grumped to him while walking to each house. Today I value that experience, as it greatly influenced my understanding of sticking with a project until it’s finished and the enormous value I believe service clubs aid their communities. But at the time it was a stretch for me and for my reasonably good humor that I was rewarded with a trip to the new fast-food restaurant. What a treat! It had huge golden arches that lighted up the walk-up windows and the exterior was covered with large shiny red and white tiles.

I thought it was a wonder.

If memory serves me right, Dad bought me a regular hamburger, small fries, and a soft drink. I believe he paid little more than a dollar. I recall the way the small, soft burger felt in my hands and the enjoyment I got when stuffing the salty, soft fries into my mouth.

I also recall an extremely rude customer standing immediately in front of us. She yanked on her children’s arms and hollered when the employee miscounted her change. While watching the scene I encircled my dad’s leg with my slender arms and buried my face to hide the tears that filled my eyes. To this day my eyes water when I observe someone behaving badly in public. I frequently feel embarrassed for people embroiled in conflict and cannot believe that they would choose to make a scene rather than take a breath and consider quick, civil ways to make things right.

I react this way because I am wired to be a peacemaker. It is both a blessing at moments and a burden at others. I’m not political and you won’t find me championing peace on street corners, but when family members and coworkers work cohesively, I experience deep satisfaction.

Peacemaking feels like a burden when there is anger and misunderstanding and I know it’s time to step into the fray and do my best to disarm the drama. When I witness conflict, I frequently feel deep physical pain and feel some kind of obligation to contribute to a positive solution, even though it has the potential to be terribly uncomfortable.

The New Testament frequently instructs readers on various ways to get along and promises spiritual maturity as a reward. To many, however, peacemaking conjures up ideas I don’t believe God intended. I do not think God mixes peacemaking with peace loving, for example, as we so often do.

Peace lovers seek calm and solitude and resent those who like heat and tension and a good fight. While I value peaceful people and work to build peace into my own life on a daily basis, I have also known some to be so heavenly minded they are of no earthly good to anyone.

Peacemakers observe people and situations and ask God for guidance and strength as they encourage deeper, more committed relationships to form. Sometimes peacemakers avoid the fight. Sometimes they actually create it, knowing that with effort and work participants will reach a place of peace with each other. They seek to resolve conflict and bring people back into communion with each other.

According to Rick Warren, a pastor and best-selling author, our focus should stay on relationships and how we might be a part of reconciliation. To constantly seek resolution to problems rather than encouraging people to work toward understanding and respect, love and companionship, is to polarize people. After all, it is completely unrealistic to believe that people, after enough talk at best or fighting at worst, will eventually see matters eye to eye. It is impossible to gain a 100 percent consensus of opinion.

It is quite possible for people to love each other and still not share the same points of views on issues of little and great importance.

Let’s pray for wisdom and a desire for peace. Next week we’ll investigate new ways you might begin to act as a peacemaker.