Regardless of how appropriately or inappropriately you believe she addresses issues of interest to her readers, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is one fascinating and articulate public figure who has marketed herself into an extremely successful writer and national speaker. Rarely can you walk past a bookstore display without being exposed to the diminutive blond with the ready smile and razor-sharp responses to dilemmas faced by most American families.

The other day I tuned in to watch CNN’s Larry King and there was the one and only Dr. Laura as his guest, promoting her latest book and responding to questions posed by King’s viewers. When “Steve” phoned in to get Dr. Laura’s take on his plan to leave his wife, I knew her response would be an interesting one.

Steve and his wife have been married for many years, their kids are adults living on their own, and he no longer wishes to “live a lie.” He claimed that from the very beginning he had married her out of obligation, explaining that when they first met she was already a young widow and the harried mother of a young child. After a series of hasty, intense encounters she had become pregnant and he offered to marry her out of obligation. After all, he reasoned, it was his child and he needed to own up to the responsibility.

Keeping to his word, they raised their children together. Now he wants to pursue “true” love, for he claimed he had never really experienced the intensity of love he had hoped to experience with a woman. Not after all the soccer games and the Easter egg hunts. The broken arms, the Friday movie and popcorn nights, and the college graduations.

I could not help but think back to a quote I have in a file that is attributed to writer Elizabeth Clarke Dunn. “Change,” she once wrote, “is an easy panacea. It takes character to stay in one place and be happy there.”

What an interesting twist to a look at change, isn’t it. Change for some can be as enticing as a drug. It lures growing numbers into thinking that a change in partners will bring us happiness. A change in cars will provide the illusion of class we long for. Change, these days, is frequently tied to gustiness and courage. How many people do you know who have made drastic changes in their lives because they claim to have dug deep and found the courage to make a change?

A note of clarification is due here. I would never advocate that someone stay in a relationship that is illegal, dangerous, unethical, or life-threatening. And if children are involved, their safety is paramount as they depend on the wisdom of adults for their well-being.

What I am suggesting is that we live in a throw-away society that recycles people and intimate relationships with little thought. Rather than looking deep into our souls, analyzing our actions and promises, considering our religious stirrings and choosing to live higher and stronger and with greater courage, we are occasionally quick to toss it all and move on. We limit our abilities to make wonderful lives with the people we chose when living gets hard, routine, and dreadfully predictable. We seem unable to envision a path that leads to contentment and joy with those closest to us and instead, chase some indefinable enticement we label “happiness” and “love.”

Worse yet, we ask those who love and depend on us to go along for the ride. Change allegiances. Adjust. Love and bond with others who have no history or shared religious background with us.

Perhaps you can guess Dr. Laura’s response. She challenged Steve to embark on a new journey with his wife. To decide to love her and find ways to rekindle the sparks that at some point lit their fires. To begin new routines, to date again, and build new dreams by fashioning new projects now that the intensity of those child-rearing years are behind them.

It was not what Steve wanted to hear. Digging deeply and rising from the ashes seemed overwhelming. Besides, he did not want to recall the promise he made before God, family, and friends that they would stay married until death parted them.

We will never know what Steve has done with that conversation. But I hope he stayed put and gave it a legitimate go, for his children and grandchildren will be served by watching a marriage that is growing, adjusting, and newly satisfying because the participants work to make it that way.

Now that is the kind of change we can all live with!