What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?

— Irv Kupcinet

I think Elvis was a whole lot of fun to watch during his younger years. I can occasionally be caught wiggling and singing to any number of his songs when I hear them on the radio or catch one of his movies. His status as a cultural icon — along with our society’s continual fascination with the most minute details of his life so long after his death — eludes me however. In fact, it frustrates me if I really give it a thought. God granted him good looks and talent and opportunity. Elvis quickly allowed excess to rule his life. Eventually, it seems, he was unable to manage the fame and the money and the available women and he died in a most tragic way. Not only were the circumstances of his death tragic but they were downright ugly. And may I dare say that it appears he has an ex-wife, girlfriends and a daughter who still live with some degree of pain and destruction. What kind of man is that?

Not only are many of the personal facts we know about Elvis unfortunate but so is the message believed by so many: That a couple cannot possibly fall in love, marry, build a family, then stay happily married as empty nesters until death parts them. Most people head into marriage with those expectations but an enormous number stall out somewhere along the way. Far too many married couples are unprepared for the hard work or they get too focused on their children and allow their marriages to quietly die from neglect. Others grow disenchanted when the continual challenges of everyday life seem to dissolve the high of newfound love. And it is when married couples experience long, dark stretches in their relationships that too many begin to believe that their relationships are too sick to fix. They embrace the fresh start approach much too quickly. They do not realize or are unwilling to discover that amazing human growth frequently happens in the midst of trial and tribulation. Human beings can grow stronger when the wind is blowing. So can marriages.

I long ago asked Christ to enter my life because I understood that I do not possess the knowledge, wisdom, patience, strength and endurance to live as well as I want to live on my own. When I married, with the intention to be a happy partner for life, I understood with greater understanding that I could not possibly do it without Him. And may I say that this approach to life as a married person goes well beyond a simple outlook, strategy or philosophy. To ask Christ to be a part of your marriage is to ask the living God himself to participate, inter-relate, influence and bond you with your spouse on a daily basis.

How do you move to those levels with God? Some days easily, joyfully, wondrously. We speak to the need for firewood one day and the very next we learn of a stand of trees needing to be cleared. We wonder how we will be able to easily pay for the kids’ new clothes and school supplies and that afternoon an unexpected check arrives to cover the expenses, down to the penny. Those moments in life are so amazing my spirit soars: He knows about our circumstances. He is actively taking care of us!

Then come the clouds. Your parent is aging and you consider new living arrangements. How will inviting another adult into your home complicate your relationships? That cancer test is inconclusive. Do you aggressively move with a nod to prevention or react with moderation? It is these and a multitude of other circumstances that Christians ask for the living God to draw near. We set our alarm clocks early and pray. We complicate already busy schedules with Bible study because God’s wisdom is spoken through the Bible and through fellow believers. We haul ourselves out of bed on Sundays because corporate worship and prayer invites God into our presence. We volunteer and are inspired. Our eyes begin to see God’s daily touch.

Today, now, at the very moment, may we stop simply living only by natural impulse and ask an ancient God to be a spiritual reality this week as we look into the faces of our spouses, searching for love and companionship and passion. May God be direct. May He be real. May He help us live deeper and better because our spouses deserve the best in us and we cannot possibly do it on our own.

Joan Bay Klope’s address is

bklope@hotmail.com