By MICHAELA MARX WHEATLEY
Special to the News-Times
Big Brother Ron VanDyke has watched his Little Brother Paul (not-so-little anymore) grow from a youngster, who produced deafening sounds during his first experimentation with instruments in 2003, to a young man majoring in music in college.
“It didn’t sound much like music,” Ron recalled. “But, by gosh, he has excelled!”
It all began more than six years ago. Ron was looking for some involvement with youth in the community after working with the scouting program. He checked out Big Brothers Big Sisters of Island County in Oak Harbor.
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Island County offers school-based and community-based mentoring programs on Whidbey Island. Volunteers are matched with kids between the ages of 6 to 14 who are willing to build a friendship.
Paul was looking for a positive male role-model, as he was living with his single mom.
Paul had been matched previously but it didn’t work out.
“I was ready to give up on this. But the match coordinator at the time said, ‘One more match.’ And I said OK. I am glad I did,” he said.
“We needed the male role model,” Paul’s mother Cindy said. “Grandpa or Paul’s uncle couldn’t always be there and we lucked out with Ron.”
Ron and Paul liked each other instantly. Together, they went to the beach, talked, ate at an all-you-can-eat buffet and played chess.
Ron recalled when Paul beat him in chess the first time. Ron said it was just a matter of time until the very analytical Paul would surpass his skills and before he knew it, Paul began to teach him moves.
Cindy recalled how excited Paul was about the match.
“He didn’t stop talking for hours, going on and on about Ron. It was fun to watch the excitement in him after meeting with him.” she said.
“When I grew up I had no brothers or sisters. Ron took on the father role and brother all rolled into one,” Paul said.
Ron said he had a mentor growing up. He had lost his father as a child and the man who owned the sheet metal shop in his community stepped up and taught him what he needed to know to become an adult.
“He kind of filled in,” Ron recalled.
Paul later became a Big Brother in the school-based program himself and, he said, modeled his mentorship-style on what he had learned from Ron.
“I am there for support. I make sure school work is done and I am a friend,” Paul explained.
To be a school volunteer, “Bigs” must be at least a freshman in high school.
The school-based matches may spend time working on school work, study together or just talk and play.
Community-based matches – such as Ron and Paul – meet regularly for fun activities that can range from playing catch to doing crafts; or attending a football game, going camping or more.
Volunteers age 19 or older – individuals who are willing and able to be a child’s friend – can become “Bigs” in community matches.
Taking on the mentor role has been rewarding for Ron, he said.
“It’s been pretty rewarding seeing somebody close to me making his progress,” Ron said.
Both said that the other feels like part of their family.
“Ron has been integrated in the family,” Paul said.
Ron agrees.
“That’s the nice thing about the program. My family is pretty much gone. If it wasn’t for them, it would just be me and the cats,” Ron joked.
“Mark your calendar for Thanksgiving,” Cindy said, addressing Ron.
And just like a family member, Ron was there when Paul graduated Oak Harbor High School in May.
When Paul turned 18 the match officially ended, but their friendship never will, both men said. Paul is now a student at Skagit Valley Community College studying music.
Both said that their friendship is a lifetime commitment.
“We’ve gotten to be pretty good friends. It’s not like time is up. Adios,” Paul said.
“I certainly hope I will be there in a couple of years for his college graduation,” Ron added.
To learn more about Big Brothers Big Sisters of Island County, or to become part of the BBBS family, call 279-0644, e-mail bbbs@whidbey.net. or visit http://www.bbbsislandcounty.org.
