I come from a very long line of Cheap So-and-Sos and we squeeze our money tighter than rolled socks. Whidbey Island has a large percentage of SOS’s, but many have come down with Eyman Syndrome in the past ten years. When a Cheap SOS contracts this nasty virus, his or her money policies become narrow, and exhibit a strong symptom called, “mean streak.”

Flying the righteous banner of “It’s My Money and I’m not giving You Any of It,” these sick individuals lose their ability to remember two key facts: 1) We are all in the game of life, and 2) We can’t take anything with us after death, including our money.

Cheap SOS’s as a group will fight to hang on to their pennies so they can decide how to spend them or save them or donate them. SOS’s who suffer from the Eyman Syndrome lose the ability to donate their pennies to anything that won’t give them a personal return on their investment.

Recently, Whidbey Island voters passed bonds to rebuild the Coupeville High School and expand the Coupeville Library. These were examples of Cheap SOS’s who didn’t have Eyman Syndrome. They were “donating” money for the common good. Now we have another “common good” issue on the table for Cheap SOS voters; the Island Transit tax increase.

Even Cheap SOS’s get emotional about this one. They know how hard the Island Transit staff work at their simple mission of moving people from place to place. They’ve noticed all the people who need help getting around: the elderly, the disabled, teens. Seems almost everyone who uses Island Transit is grateful for the services.

Cheap SOS’s who don’t have Eyman Syndrome recognize the importance of voting yes for the transit tax. All SOS’s who have Eyman Syndrome need to go to a 12-step program that will teach them how to lose their addiction to “meanness.”

As the bumper sticker says: “Mean People Suck,” and I don’t know any Cheap SOS’s who want to be told that they suck. Fellow SOS’s, save our transit system!

Mike Diamanti

Coupeville