Letter: Support is not the same as defense

Published 1:30 am Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Holy cow, I wish people could/would read the words that are printed, not redefine them or twist them to create a different narrative. This time I am responding to letters dated June 20 from Lauren Newman and Amanda Berman, also a Sound Off from Ryan Kelly on June 24.

To start with, I am truly sorry and sad the accusers in this very heartbreaking case did not have the same support as the accused did. Because you “support” someone does not mean you are defending them or justifying any of their behavior in any way. In Ala-non they teach you to love the person but not the addiction. Support vs defend; they are not the same. I agree with Ryan Kelly that most things need more transparency. People can freely accuse and do so anonymously, telling their entire story to anyone anywhere, while the accused is blasted in the media by name way before any guilty verdict is given. Personally, I’d like both sides to be transparent.

This is what I wrote, copied from The Record: “Recently one of our ‘family’ members found themselves answering to the courts. The reason for that is neither here nor there for the purpose of my letter; this is not about the legal side of the situation.”

I do not assume I’m qualified to discuss the legal reasons; that’s strictly for the courts. The actual reason for my letter was to underscore the love and, yes, the support our church family has for one another, and I am proud to be part of this community. Providing support to the victims I feel should have been from friends and family or community of the victims. We were there to be supportive of a fellow church member, and as I already said, I’m sad and very sorry the accusers do not have the same support from whatever community they mingle in and are comfortable with. I’d like to ask if Lauren Newman or Amanda Berman were in the courtroom to support their friend? And for Ryan to say we were “disconnected from the gravity of the situation” is ludicrous, or to say the atmosphere felt like “a Sunday School field trip,” we were as heartbroken about the situation as you could possibly get. There is no shame on me for supporting a friend and fellow church goer; maybe the shame belongs to friends of the accusers for not showing up and expressing their support.

My church did not sponsor or encourage anyone’s participation or suggest a letter be written. I showed up in court on my own, saw and heard what I did, and wrote the editor on my own. It was all done out of love and support (not defense) for a friend and community member. Not a single church member spoke, so we did not defend anyone. I truly wish you all had the same love and support in your lives. However, being chastised for being supportive of someone is totally bizarre; people need more support, not less. Our friend is going to need outside help and support, as you mentioned. We were there to show them we were in it from the beginning and willing to be there for and through all of it.

Tarly Shupe

Clinton