Take a Breath: Is it civil? Or just bad writing?

Published 1:30 am Saturday, May 9, 2026

Civil doesn’t mean moderate, neutral or even “nice.”

To be honest, the feedback was a surprise.

When I started this monthly column two and a half years ago, it seemed like a powerful concept. We live in a time when public discourse is defined by polarization and hate, when cheap digs and easy insults look like victory. But here in the News-Times, we’d meet a Whidbey leader each month and let them tell their own stories, let them show us how they seek common ground and civility. As an added bonus, the series would occasionally feature the human side of leaders whom we might not all see as particularly civil.

My hope, as I proposed the idea to the News-Times’ editor, was that someone might read the column and be inspired. A feature about a fellow islander could convince them to respect a person with whom they disagree. They’d pause to realize we all have families and dreams and visions of what’s best for our community, and those are the things that matter, the things that draw us all together. A reader might decide to run for office, or at least attend a City Council meeting or write to their congressman. Someone could even call up Uncle Fred, the one they quit inviting to Thanksgiving, and make amends.

Why? Because our community and our loved ones are way more crucial to our survival than these walls we’ve allowed to separate us. Because in the long run, regardless of our politics, one thing will never change: we can’t make it without each other.

Maybe I was naive. But maybe that’s not a bad thing.

I do get an unexpected kick out of hearing from people. From the beginning, I’d run into a reader in the hardware store and get a sincere “I liked your column last week,” and we’d spend a moment chatting about it. I’d hear “I never knew that about that guy,” and some folks would even tell me they’d gained respect for a public figure they never liked before. So far so good, right?

Then came the first phone call. A fresh column was still steaming, metaphorically, on Whidbey newsstands when a friend rang me up. This is a person I deeply respect for her commitment to Oak Harbor, its schools and its people. It’s been a couple years and I don’t recall her exact words but it was pretty much “how could you write a positive piece about that guy?” …and she went into a laundry list of things this elected official had said and done.

I let her vent. She wasn’t wrong about most of the allegations she made, and I told her so. She wondered how, if I knew the bad behavior was for real, I could write something good about someone like that.

But isn’t that the point, really? Shouldn’t we get a grasp of both sides of a person before we judge them? My friend and I ended that chat on good terms, but I felt like it pointed precisely to the reason these columns are important. There’s more to each of us than meets the eye. In this case, I let the man tell his own story. I compiled it and put it on paper, added a plot twist here and there, but it was his story. The friend who called me didn’t like him or respect his public behavior, but she couldn’t deny the love he feels for his community.

Other discussions have bordered on the surreal. In letters to the News-Times, social media replies and personal conversations, I’ve been called too liberal… just weeks before being panned as a spokesman for the far right. A column featuring a Democrat was denigrated as horrible and disingenuous, while another about a Republican earned comments about him being mean to his neighbors. But my favorite? When I wrote about a local event reinventing itself to attract more visitors, a pal told me it “sounds woke. Like there’ll be trans people there.” I explained patiently that trans people exist everywhere and they’ll be at the festival regardless.

Some readers’ critiques on my writing quality are based less on grammar and punctuation than on whether they support the featured person politically. Like the cable news host who told an outspoken athlete to “shut up and dribble,” these folks tend to attack the writing style if they don’t like the subject, but compliment the exquisite journalism in favorable articles about their preferred public figures.

People who know me have a pretty good idea of where I stand on political and cultural issues. I’m adamant about my opinions at times. And my delivery isn’t always civil. But I try to keep my personal opinions out of these columns, and focus on virtues we can admire, exemplified by people who set a higher standard.

Still, as I look at my own reactions to adverse comments, this is where it really gets weird. In discussions of these columns, I find myself digging in my heels most often in defense of people whose views are the farthest from mine. One politician has been through the grinder for his actions of two years ago, and I don’t support or even understand why he did the things he did. But I feel like I’ve personally told half of Whidbey Island that he’s a decent citizen and that I admire his courage.

Besides, “civil” doesn’t always mean “nice.” Civility doesn’t require us to be moderate or neutral, and it never means we’re soft or weak. It means being strong enough to respect and listen to others, and it means giving them space to share their beliefs. That’s hard work, and many of us aren’t up to the task. But this series will continue to feature brave, dynamic, and honorable leaders who use their energy to do just that.

William Walker’s monthly “Take a Breath” column seeks paths to unity on Whidbey Island in polarized times. He loves Dickens and cartoon beagles, and you can find his personal opinions on sports, politics, and culture at https://playininthedirt.substack.com.