Letters to the Editor

Oak Harbor officials’ fib was a big one

Confession time: Last Saturday I stubbed my toe on the corner of a chair. I couldn’t help but notice that my beautiful wife was trying, but failing, to hold her laughter in. Actually, upon further reflection, she didn’t even attempt to hold her laughter in; she pointed at me and laughed out loud. Little did she know, however, that it didn’t actually hurt a bit. Here I was with the perfect chance to take advantage of my wonderful wife. So that’s exactly what I did. I told her it wasn’t nice to laugh at someone in pain and that she should feel ashamed of herself. Of course she didn’t actually feel bad, but all I needed was for her to pretend that she felt bad.

So she made me lunch and served me, and even gave me a kiss and a hug. And not just any hug, not the kind where someone sticks their butt way out and doesn’t really hug you, but the kind where they squeeze you like they mean it. As she hugged me, I told her that my foot hurt too much to mow the lawn. She sympathized and as I sat on the couch and ate my lunch I did feel a bit guilty while she was outside mowing the lawn. But guilt only gets a person so far, so I forgot about that nonsense and continued watching Magnum PI. After all, she laughed at me.

But I have to tell you, my fib doesn’t compare to the indiscretions of the Oak Harbor city officials. I mean, yeah, I got a sandwich and nicely mowed lawn, but they got, like a whole big one way street out of the deal. I mean, it’s not like I ignored some transportation archaeologist who told me that work was being done by a known archeological site that could possibly be compromised.  If I had gotten that letter, I would have told my wife to hold on mowing the lawn and to wash the cars instead.

Jimmy Sloan
Oak Harbor

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