Governor should sell for everyone

As our Salesperson in Chief tours Australia and New Zealand, regular citizens like us are left to wonder, can’t she sell something for us?

Gov. Christine “call me Chris” Gregoire has been peddling apples, airplanes and software Down Under for weeks now. Nobody’s heard from her since she ducked into a pub to push wheat to a wary wombat, but we expect she’ll return to her home state before the Legislature convenes in January and she can start spending money again.

The governor is taking requests. As her own news release states she will stop in at Quantas Airways “at the request of Boeing executives.” Now she tells us. I would have had a few requests of my own had I known.

I’ve got a 1989 Chevrolet S10 I’d love to sell to some bloke in Australia. It might fetch a fine price over there, being an American antique and all, and it could still beat a kangaroo in a race across the outback to the billabong. I’d also like to dump the old living room couch on some unsuspecting jackaroo and a fraying recliner big enough to accommodate a brace of boomers, but it’s too late now. The governor left without my stuff.

It seems only right that when Washingtonians elect a new Salesperson in Chief we all get a chance to benefit. It’s not just Chris. Gary Locke never sold anything in China for the little guy. He never offered to bring over a few sacks of Whidbey Island organic spuds or some fine Whidbey Island mussels to pitch to the communists, he too was representing Boeing and Bill Gates.

If our Salespersons in Chief only sell for big business, who can blame us little guys who put them in office for feeling we’re not being represented? If Chris can’t sell our stuff too, let Boeing and Microsoft pay her salary when she’s shilling for them. Really, can’t they afford their own salespeople? Apparently on the international scene, corporations gain respect by showing off the government officials they own. We should paint the governor like and airplane, with “Boeing” on her wings and “Microsoft” on her fuselage, that way the ownership would be clear.

How many of us remember the campaign of 2004? Did Chris say what a great salesperson she was and how she’d love to represent Boeing and Microsoft? No, she said she’d represent us, so why didn’t she take any of our stuff to Australia to sell? It undermines our faith that in this great country of ours, the little guy too can own a piece of a politician.

Maybe the governor’s back by now, who knows? You can’t get on TV news unless you kill, rape or otherwise mutilate somebody. But if she is, she should know that she left a few things undone. Education is still a mess, the Department of Social and Health Services is out of control, and nobody around here knows when the crabbing season starts. If you can’t sell some of our stuff, at least try doing your job.

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